Daughter.

To the daughter I hope will never be born,

The daughter I never want to bring into this world.

The daughter who is better off as just an idea.

The daughter who I have always dreamed of

But would never want to conceive.

Why not a daughter?

What if you have a daughter?

What’s wrong with having a girl?

Are you a sexist?

Do you hate your own gender so much?

Would you bring a daughter into this world?

Would you want your little princess to grow up,

Eyes lurking at every corner,

Catcalls no matter what she wears,

Heart racing after dark,

Always wary.

Would you want to bring her up,

Protecting her as much as you can

Years and years of diligence,

Always warning her to be careful

To never let the old uncles get too close

To never open herself up to the wrong boy

Lest he take away her innocence

A little too soon.

To have a daughter

Would mean to raise her as a warrior

To arm her with weapons

To teach her to always keep her guard up

To train her to always be suspicious,

To finally let go and set her free

To allow her to see the world,

To cry when she comes back

And whispers to you
“He touched me…there.”

To have a daughter is to see yourself,

With those shining bright eyes

And the same pain you felt

All those years ago

When you told your mother…

“He touched me…there.”

To the daughter I hope will never be born,

I only wish I could make this world

A little better,

A little less frightening.

So you can be born

Because you would be

The most beautiful daughter.

And I could never bear

My beautiful daughter

Being defiled,

The way I was.

I could never bear

The lewd stares

Shifting from my body

To yours.

I could never bear

Watching my little baby

Growing up with

A scarred heart.

To the daughter who I hope will never be born,

This is the only way I know to save you.

Connections and the such.

Everyone on this planet is connected to another human being, no matter how hard you try to isolate yourself, no matter how ostracized you are, we are connected to another human being. Be it your family, your mother, your friends, your colleagues, your fellow hermits, we are intricately connected. The loneliest human on earth is still connected to at least one other person. Now these connections can run thick, they say blood is the thickest, or they could be superficial. Even the lack of a visible connection is still a connection. Humans are apparently "social animals" we are conditioned to yearn for a family and friends and we feel lonely and empty without people around us.

So caught up in trying to make and maintain these connections with others that we often times lose our connection with ourselves. But there are an abundance of self-help guides and books to help us with that nowadays. These guides and books and groups that help us understand ourselves, its funny isn't it, someone else helping us connect with our own self. So much interdependence, using each other as crutches, one falls and the rest come tumbling down. I suppose in reality we are far more communal than we realize. Maybe that is why capitalism isn't working out to well for us, every man for himself doesn't work if man can't be by himself. Even Adam needed an Eve.

Are we scared? Are we frightened that we won't be able to function on our own? We have internalized our socialization so well that being alone has become one of the greatest fears of the human population. People do anything to find someone they can be with, and if someone is alone they have to learn to be alone through great efforts else they slowly drift into depression and the likes.

Some people might argue and say "I can be alone, I don't need other people." And there are people who can truly be alone, they go up to the mountains and meditate for days and weeks. They are exceptions, they are the ones who Nietzsche extols when he talks about the ascetic ideals. But most people, they are unable to stay with just themselves, they need entertainment, they need company, they need to occupy their mind so that they don't feel the loneliness.

This is no way a criticism, just an observation. Maybe we weren't created to be alone, maybe becoming so dependent on each other was a part of our evolution. It definitely became a part of our socialization.

Just a mid-year ramble, I'll try to be back sooner next time, but don't count on it.