1.2015.

One month and two days into and this year has already proven that life is crazy. The first day itself was just a whirlwind of activity. Complete and utter madness spilling over till noon. 

My revelations and deliberations. Life. Love. The connections I have made. The reconnections I have made. 

The way your stomach drops when you find out that someone you love has a war inside of them. A war they may not win. But you help them. You fight with them. I've experienced that. 

I've witnessed promises made between a woman and a man. 

I've seen someone I love fall in love with someone who may not love them. 

I've seen youth take on a maturity that overwhelms my own. I've seen a man dedicated to his wife. I have realised the importance of the relationships I have and have had in my life. 

The importance of being positive and not allowing the dark clouds to infiltrate my mind. 

They say your soulmate doesn't always have to be a romantic partner. And I agree. My soulmate is my partner in crime. My best friend. 

They say you don't have only one soulmate. There is more than one whole orange out there. I've found three. Maybe a fourth. My anchor, my moon and my music. 

I've let go. Let go of my anger. My misery. What happened was terrible and it shouldn't have happened. But now it's time to move on. 

I want to say something about academics but I haven't been attending college much. Just been living life. I am excited for my masters. And the brilliant course I've found. 

I've experienced the absurdity of life. The most amazing connection in the most inconvenient manner. But the beauty of it. The fact that these connections can transcend the real and can take us to a different realm altogether. 

The inability to fall sleep and the anger generated in a single body. A rage that can tear people apart lest it be tamed. A day of pure white rage, shut down by a single sentence. 

Blessed by the strength and incredible beauty of one of the more awe-inspiring women I have ever had the pleasure to meet. The woman who carried me in her womb is so much more than I ever realised. 

I have seen a man’s devotion, a love that had never truly surfaced, until now. I have seen them show their affection and the diligence he has to make sure she is comfortable.

Connections have broken, fights have ensued. Harsh words and silent stares.

But I realized that in the end, you need to just live. Take matters into your own hand. Because you are the one who has been through it all, every single second, you have been there. There may be others who have supported you, but you are the only one who has been with yourself through it all. You are born with yourself and die with yourself. You are your own. 

Even if nothing happens the rest of the year the past 33 days have been enough for a lifetime. 

Lions.

We got on board the bus waiting at the designated "Big Cats" pick up area. My sister and I ran up to the front of the bus, as eager as a bunch of kinder-gardeners gearing up for a field trip. I looked at the petting zoo and saw the ducks waddling about and the deer minding their own business, lazing in the shade. A few more people got on and the bus driver closed the latch on the door. He started the bus and I could hear a faint echo of a familiar Bollywood tune. Excitement coursing through my veins, I wished the bus would move faster, honestly a snail would have beaten us in a race.

As we approached the "Big Cats" enclosures my senses heightened, it took all my will not to just jump out of the window. I ran off and went to the man who would accompany us into the enclosure. He smiled at my family and waited for the European company who was visiting the Lions along with us. We entered the first gate and instantly I could sense the electricity buzzing on the fence in front of me. We grabbed large sticks which we were told to keep between ourselves and the lions at all times. I dropped my bag to the ground and legs trembling walked through the next gate.

My sister and I were first, we walked in a group to face the lion and then broke off and went behind him. With our sticks in one hand and knees on the ground we were told to touch him. Our friend was Ginger, a two year old lion who just started going through puberty. I hesitantly went to pet him like I would our dog at home. My first thoughts were "Oh my god, oh my god, I am petting a lion." And after that initial shock and amazement I looked at him carefully. He was just chilling, that is the only word appropriate. Chilling. And I looked at his face and he honestly looked so peaceful and serene. He didn't seem to mind that two random humans were petting his rather coarse coat of fur.

After everyone else had their interaction with Ginger we walked over to one of the white lions. White, not albino, Mulatsi is apparently very sensitive about that. We were last to approach the sleeping cat. And once again my legs turned to jelly and it took me a second to regain the same confidence I eventually had while next to Ginger. After sitting with Mulatsi for half a minute I realized he is just another one of God's peaceful creatures. It is man who has created this terrible image for such animals. Men have taken over their lands and when they lash out at us we call them monsters. Which I find quite unfair and hypocritical, we're the monsters  who lock these majestic beings in cages. We are the monsters who hunt them and kill their children.

In the end I was in awe, the lions I met were not vicious creatures to be met with fear. Instead peaceful creatures of the earth just minding their own business who should be approached with love and respect. Honestly, it was an experience I will never forget, not even when I am old and senile.