She - Secrets

Secrets

The dark night surrounds her, stars winking at her, telling her they’ll keep her secret. The leaves rustle with the slight breeze and a shiver runs down her spine. She sparks a match and lights the cigarette placed between her chapped lips. The first drag is always the lightest. She inhales the toxic air and feels all the release. Her body relaxes and her mind turns sluggish. In that one moment she forgets everything, the only thing on her mind is this pleasure she feels. She glances from the side of her eyes, making sure that no one is coming to disturb her moment of solitude. As she sits there, enjoying this terrible piece of candy, she takes in her surroundings. 

This great big world waiting for her to make it hers, just waiting for her to work her magic. And with each thought the ashes fall to the ground, slowly finishing, she knows this wonderful feeling won’t last forever. This is just a momentary escape. She tries to make it last longer, but she knows no matter how hard she tries it will end. She listens to the sounds of the night, a lone car crawling through the dark, dogs wailing looking for their mates. Almost everyone has retired to their beds, deep in slumber, recharging their bodies for another day. Their souls restless, wanting to break free from this monotony. She wonders who sits with their lights still on. Perhaps there are others like her, contemplating what to do with their lives. One hundred years is a long time, how could they possibly make each day memorable. What can they achieve in the one hundred years they have been given. She puts her cigarette out and doesn’t feel like moving, if only she could just stay in this one moment. This one moment where she feels nothing, nothing bad, nothing good, she just knows her heart is beating. This state of pure existence, simple meditation.