She - Disintegrating

Disintegrating

She sits on the curb clutching her heart in her hand, losing grip on the pieces that are left over, wondering if it’s worth anything anymore. Should she even consider giving it away one more time? Give it away to someone she thinks will help mend it. Only to realize that once again, it will be torn to pieces and left in a state where even its owner cannot recognize it. She will once again, spend endless nights cursing herself and regretting the fact that she trusted someone else with something that belongs solely to her. Who will even want such a tattered heart, full of scars and completely disfigured. 

But even if she did allow someone else to hold it, she knows that when it’s finally time to pick up the pieces, she won’t. She feels weary and wonders if there is any point of going through the shreds again. Once anything has been broken so many times is there any reason behind keeping it alive. You can fix something only so many times, after a while it isn’t the same anymore, it stops working. So she sits and stares at the remains she holds in her hand. She watches as the wind sweeps away the shards of what were left. She feels the void but she is indifferent to the hollowness that she experiences. The vicious cycle is severed. Nothing left to give away. Nothing left to fix. There is just the empty shell, burnt out headlights and a blank expression. She witnesses her slow disintegration into the one thing she never wanted to be, heartless.